


Burned wings

by SeiyaRei



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angst, Eating Disorders, Fallen Angels, FallenAngel!Corpse, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, I promise, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-13 09:16:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28651140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeiyaRei/pseuds/SeiyaRei
Summary: Corpse broke one of the angel commandments by saving his protege's life after he attempted suicide. For that, Corpse became the first fallen angel in thousands of years, expelled from heaven and forced to live on earth.~●○°●○°●○°●○°●○°●○°●○~Almost no one managed to see their guardian angel before they died. Angels only appeared among humans in extreme cases, when their protege was about to die before it was predestined. In that case, they were allowed to prevent it. Otherwise, they guarded everything unseen from above, only gently directing the lives of the people on earth. They did not have to stay on earth permanently since the last portal to the demon realm had closed a thousand years ago.Well, until today.
Relationships: Corpse Husband & Sykkuno (Video Blogging RPF), Corpse Husband/Sykkuno (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 33
Kudos: 147





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> READ THE TAGS. This fic contains description of attemted suicide and description of self harm! There will not be major character death, but please don't read this if you are triggered by any of the mentioned topics.
> 
> ────────────── ✧《✩》✧ ──────────────
> 
> Hi. So this fic is way outside my comfort zone, because I am fluff writer. But I am excited to write something new, more angsty and with an actual plot this time. I have the idea of Corpse as a fallen angel in my head for a week now, so it is time to make it happen. Hope you will enjoy it!
> 
> Beta: Jesan_Miyuuki Thank you so much, ily <3

Almost no one managed to see their guardian angel before they died. Angels only appeared among humans in extreme cases, when their protege was about to die before it was predestined. In that case, they were allowed to prevent it. Otherwise, they guarded everything unseen from above, only gently directing the lives of the people on earth. They did not have to stay on earth permanently since the last portal to the demon realm had closed a thousand years ago.

  
However, they did not become a fairy tale, like many supernatural beings who were no longer believed in. Not a year has passed with at least one person miraculously surviving an accident which should have killed them under all the laws of nature. In the last few decades, the number of such miracles attributed to angels has multiplied considerably. However, it was difficult to determine whether this was because of a significant advancement in recording technology that now monitored any smaller village and could easily prove if it was only luck or angel, or because of the huge increase in population.

One way or another, religion became a fact a long time ago, and today everyone took the existence of something supernatural as a matter of course. Many people wanted to be the chosen ones who would meet their guardian angel whilst they were still alive, and for some time false suicide attempts were popular. However, it never happened that an angel would come to help someone who wanted to end his life voluntarily. People didn't understand it. The number of deaths in these experiments, which were often brought unintentionally to an end, rose at such a rate that something completely unexpected happened.

On the day of the extraordinary UN meeting due to these unfortunate events, an angel with six wings appeared among the waiting journalists. They did not come to save individuals, as it used to be. Instead, after several long minutes of waiting for space to be provided from the eagered people, they spoke to humanity. They came with a request and a warning. They asked all of them to not waste their precious lives unnecessarily. The angel explained that it was actually frustrating their work, their efforts to keep them alive. They warned them that no angel would ever come to save someone who was dying voluntarily, with his own hand, and their efforts were therefore useless. In the end, they assured everyone that everyone had someone watching over them, everyone was protected, but they shouldn't take it for granted.   
  


Things have really changed since that day. Of course, not everyone started behaving properly and on command right away. But the world became a better place to live in. Not by much, of course. But the fact that one of the supernatural beings came to speak to the people was something unexpected and that fact alone gave so much hope. And their words calmed many worried souls.   
  
People hoped that now the angels would be more willing to come in contact with the people they guarded. But it didn't happen. Humanity was disappointed. They hoped for some signs, directions of where to go for a better tomorrow. Eventually, everything slowly returned to normal. Angels appeared only in the most urgent cases and only for the time necessary. People have become accustomed again that angels simply do not stay on earth.

  
  


Well, until today.


	2. I won't let you fall tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rope in Sykkuno's hand was too heavy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter describes a suicide attempt and suicididal thoughts. Dont read it if you are not sure you should.
> 
> Thanks Joce for beta.

The rope in Sykkuno's hand was too heavy. Sykkuno felt tired just from tying it to the rafter of an old barn roof, not that it mattered now. He had time, as much as he wanted to have. Everything that would happen in the next few minutes was in his hands. It was a strangely freeing feeling, knowing this would be the first and last thing that he did of his own will. And it was terrifying. His hands were shaking, breathing unstable, and his mind couldn't focus on what he was trying to do. 

Sykkuno had to stand on his tiptoes to reach that high even with a chair under him, but nobody was here to make fun of his height or how clumsy he was when the knot in the rope untied for a second time. He sighed and closed his eyes, letting the rope fall to the ground. His hands were too sweaty for this. 

He sat down on the chair, took off his black hoodie and wiped his hands in it before he tossed it on the floor. He sat for a few minutes, focusing only on his breath until he calmed down a little. When he could breathe steadily again, he opened his eyes and looked around. He had chosen this place because of how quiet and abandoned it was at night. This barn was only used during the day. At least he could see moonlight through the holes in the roof. 

He was supposed to do this alone but it didn't feel like he was alone.

Something wasn't right. Something felt wrong.

“You are watching, aren't you,” Sykkuno whispered to the empty room. “You are always watching. How my life goes. How everyone started to distance themself from me. You know it all, everything about me. And I know nothing about you. Just that you are here, somewhere, somehow. I bet you are trying to stop me again, aren't you? You are making the rope fall every time.” What he was thinking? Of course his angel couldn't do that. They couldn't help people who were trying to end their lives. 

Why was he trying to imagine there was still someone who cared about him when it hadn’t been true for a long time?. There was no one who would care if he was alive. A few people would probably cry when they found out he had died, because people do that. But after a few weeks, maybe even days, nobody would notice a change. He was not important to the world. Nobody really needed him to survive— he was not a doctor or someone important in other people's lives. He was expendable. He had tried so much, so, so much to be better, to have an impact on the world, to change something, to help people. Nothing had worked.

He was not special enough to do something big, not smart enough to study medicine, not rich enough to give money to poor people. He had tried everything he could to take care of others, only to destroy himself, ruin his body, and exhaust it to the point that he couldn't do anything else. He had to stop and focus on repairing his body to be at least functional. He hated himself for how selfish he was acting. If he had just eaten normally and slept a little more he might not have ended up in the hospital. He could try to help others more. But he had starved himself until his body collapsed. He had to spend months healing, doing nothing. And for what? Nothing changed. People were still dying. Nothing he did had an effect. His life had no meaning. So what was the point of being here? 

“No you are not. I know you are not, you can't. Nobody can't. And nobody wants to.” He got up, exhaling slowly. This had to be done. He couldn't postpone it for later. It had to be now.

Sykkuno stood up and climbed on the chair again, rope in now-steady hands. He wanted to do it. Now he was sure. This time, the noose didn't unravel when he finished it off and gave it a little tug. It was a solid rope and he had done a good job. At least this was something he could do right.

Sykkuno looked around, checking that he hadn’t forgotten anything. He put his hand in his pocket, feeling the letter he wrote this morning. It contained nothing explaining why he did it — just instructions that his body could be used for tissue donation if it was needed.

Last look at the moon. Today it was shining especially beautifully. 

Last touch of his hair. It always fell in his eyes.

Last breath of fresh air. It was cold and smelled like freshly cut grass. He would miss it. 

Sykkuno slipped the loop over his head and tightened it a little. His hands were shaking again. He ignored the tears sliding down his cheeks. He had to continue, because if he stopped now he wouldn't be able to work up the nerve to try again.

He hugged himself, letting out one last breath. Maybe next time, it would be better. Maybe in the next life, he could be something to someone.

He kicked the chair out from under him.

Air. Air. Air. He needed to breathe. It hurt. So much. His hands instinctively scrabbled at the rope, but he was too weak to pull himself up. 

Air. Air… His vision blurred and he felt how he was slowly losing consciousness. 

Air. He needed to breathe. He couldn't do anything. His fingers slipped off the rope and his arms fell heavily to his sides. 

Something white appeared next to him the second before his eyes shut. He… needed… a-

Darkness.

.  
.  
.

“Sykkuno.” 

Something warm was on his neck, almost like a hand. It felt nice, like when he scraped his knee and his mother kissed the pain away. He felt stones under his back, white moonlight shining in his eyes. He blinked a few times. What happened?

“Sykkuno.” The voice was deep, too low to be human. But it wasn't scary. He thought of sweet honey when he heard that voice. He looked to the right to see who was speaking. He felt light, like nothing bad could possibly happen now, like fear didn't exist in the whole world. He was sure whoever was speaking wasn't here to hurt him.

It wasn't the moon that was glowing with white light. There were wings spread out above him, maybe ten feet long each. They were white and glittered like a first snow. They belonged to a man with a halo hovering over his dark hair. He was looking at Sykkuno lying at the ground, one hand on Sykkuno’s neck, the other one holding the end of the rope.

“Don't-” was the last thing Sykkuno heard before he blacked out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapters will be longer. And yes I cried when I was writing that.
> 
> If you are in similar situation seek help. There is always reason why to fight. You matter.


	3. I scream my silent pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "If you are wanting me to continue, I need… a reason."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mind the tags.
> 
> Thanks Joce and Jesan or beta (i cannot found anyone and suddenly two people was reading it o.o)

It took a week to get out of the hospital—not for the damage done to his airways, which was surprisingly minor to the surprise of his doctors, but for the psychiatrist to be satisfied with his mental state. The rope burn around his neck was a reminder of what he'd tried to do, and he was put through several days of therapy before they let him go home. He also had to sign a lot of forms promising that he would see a therapist once a week. He didn’t mind—he didn’t even bother reading the forms. 

Sykkuno didn't plan to start therapy, of course, but he also couldn't try to end his life again. Not now when his mind wasn't clear and he hadn't finished everything wanted to. His mind had only been focused on one thing every second of the past few days and that wasn’t the vision of his near end. It was his angel, or more specifically, what the angel had done.

  
  


As soon as he was back in his flat he sat down with his computer, not even bothering to take his shoes off. He started nervously tapping his fingers against the table while his computer was starting up. Finally, he could open his browser to research for any cases of an guardian angel stopping someone’s suicide. Before this,he was sure it had never happened before, but now he wasn’t so convinced. He couldn't be the only one who had been saved. 

He was sure of what happened; it wasn't a dream. That was the first possibility that came to his mind after he woke up in hospital— he had to have imagined all of it and the rope just wasn't able to hold his body weight. And then he had found a fluffy white feather stuck in the zip of one of his pockets. 

Sykkuno opened one long article written by an old lady from the Czech Republic, about how her guardian angel saved her life. He took his hands off the keyboard and brought the feather out of his pocket, eyes still focused on the article. The feather was softer than normal bird feathers and it shimmered in the sunshine. Some people would kill to own one—feathers of angels were very rare. Sykkuno put it back into his pocket. He couldn't focus on what he was reading when he was holding it as thoughts about his angel plagued his mind again.

Reading articles took him several hours. He stopped for a few minutes only to order some groceries and water his plants. He didn't have anything to eat right now, because he had been so sure that he wouldn't come to this flat again, but that didn't matter. He could wait for tomorrow, when food was supposed to be delivered. His research was more important than eating.

As he expected, he found nothing useful by searching for guardian angels saving people. Of course many people claimed that they were the survivors of an angel's intervention, but there was nothing believable. There was no way that he could gather enough information like this, not as fast as he needed it. He couldn't start more detailed research— he had neither the patience nor the strength to do so. He needed answers now so he could… make a decision. 

Around 2am Sykkuno yawned and decided to take another small pause to make coffee. He didn't plan to sleep until morning, maybe even noon. Luckily he could still stay home for a few days to recover and didn't have to start working right away, so he could afford to sleep during the day. He didn’t have any milk, and he shuddered in disgust just imagining the taste of black coffee. Well, he shouldn't spoil himself anyway, it was probably better this way. 

When he was going back to the living room, holding his mug in both of his hands, he got a familiar strange feeling, as if he was being watched. He knew that feeling very well—he had felt it for the first time in kindergarten. Maybe he had felt it even earlier than that, but he didn't remember it if he had. For a long time Sykkuno thought that he was just paranoid, but as he got older, he came to the conclusion that it had to be his angel watching over him. Some people claimed that they could feel the presence of their angel. And since Sykkuno calmed down every time that feeling came, it seemed like a logical conclusion. 

“Why are you watching me?” He sat down at the computer again, mug still warming his hands. “Do you regret what you did? You know nothing changed. I didn't change.” Sykkuno closed his eyes for a second, a wave of guilt hitting him unexpectedly. His angel had done something extraordinary, something nobody had done before, at least from what Sykkuno knew. And what Sykkuno did with his second chance, what he was planning to do… how was he supposed to try it alone? He didn’t have the strength to try again. He didn't ask for this… gift. He didn't want a second chance.

“If you want me to continue living I need… a reason. Answers. I want to know why you did it. What am I supposed to do here? Why is my life important? You must have had a good reason to save me. What is it?” The feeling of someone else's presence disappeared. Sykkuno sighed, but he didn't expect anything else. He put his mug on the table and began to search again, this time for something else. He didn’t have time to ask people about angels. He needed answers directly from his angel. So why not try to contact him? Sykkuno doubted he would find something that would help to contact him, but he had to rule out all possibilities. 

There were so many rituals and other worse things that were supposed to be able to summon angels. He stayed up until dawn and read every single one of them,, horrified and certain that he wouldn’t try any of them. He needed sleep. He had been awake for almost 24 hours at this point and he hadn’t eaten anything. After he rested, he could continue. A few hours more or less wouldn’t matter at this point.   
  
He put the feather on the nightstand before he went to sleep.

  * ○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●



The sound of the doorbell woke him up—he groceries, of course. He got out of bed, pulling some pants on and running to open the door. Luckily, he at least had a shirt on from yesterday so he made it in time before the driver lost his patience and left.

After he put everything away, he took a quick cold shower and put on a clean black t-shirt and old comfortable pants. When he exited the bathroom, he hesitated for a moment before he went to he kitchn, because his stomach was very loudly reminding him of what he should do next. He didn't feel like he  _ deserved _ to eat, but he remembered what had happened last time when he stopped eating and he didn't want to repeat the same mistake. 

Sykkuno didn’t know how long he would be staying here, but he was sure it would be at least a few days, maybe even longer, so he decided he needed to bring a few of his daily habits back. He didn't just make breakfast for today, but also several servings of rice with vegetables and meat. He packed each meal in individual paper boxes, each with a fork and knife, everything made from recyclable materials. Afterwards, he ate his breakfast: the same meal but without meat.

He put everything in his old backpack, adding a few glass bottles of sparkling water and food for cats and dogs. After a quick look in the mirror, adjusting his hair to create at least an acceptable look, he picked up his keys and went on his usual path around this part of the city. 

His first stop was a man in his 40s who smelled of alcohol as always. The only reason Sykkuno gave him food was because of his nice behavior: he was polite and greeted everyone with a smile even when he was drunk. Sykkuno couldn't judge him too hard, even though he knew this man could buy better things than alcohol with the money that people gave him. So Sykkuno gave him food regularly instead. The man was always grateful and never forgot to compliment Sykkuno’s cooking. Sykkuno liked him but never spent much time talking with him, as his stomach couldn't stand the smell of alcohol for too long.

Next was a group of young people, quite a new stop on his route. They had been homeless for only a few weeks— three boys and one girl, probably friends. They weren't kids anymore so he couldn't call any services to help them and they still didn't trust him enough to let him help much. The only thing he could do at this point was bring them food, water and a few nice words. He made sure he left a card with phone numbers for charities specialized in dealing with homeless young people in one of the boxes every time.

Then, a small corner with trash bins. Feral cats visited this place regularly, but they were too shy to come out when there were people. Sykkuno had already caught all the friendly ones and brought them to a local shelter. For the rest of them, he put some cat food and fresh water in old bowls.

His last big stop was in a nearby park. As usual, he sat at the second bench next to an old lady who couldn't walk properly and her dog. He gave both of them food and water, asking about their day. In the middle of their conversation, other people noticed he was here and began to walk towards them. Shortly after, Sykkuno was in the middle of a small circle of people eating, talking, and thanking him. He was trying to smile and only talk about positive things. He was here to help them, after all, not to brag about his miserable life. 

After maybe half an hour he thanked everyone for their time, promising he would be back in a few days as always and started to walk towards home. He felt a little better, but not enough to really smile. However, it was enough to make his choice to stay alive for today worth it. That was the only thing that prevented him from jumping off the bridge he crossed on his way back.

He never really paid attention to the people around him— he didn’t really see a reason to do so when they were always the same faces.. So he almost didn't notice the person standing in front of his neighbors doors wasn't his neighbor. Luckily, when he was trying to find his keys, a realisation hit him: that person wasn't his neigbor, but also not a stranger. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is very hard for me to write, because I a writing about lot of things that happened to me, so i am sorry if updates will come less often. But I am going to finish the story, dont worry, just it will take longer than usuall.

**Author's Note:**

> Every comment or kudo force me to write more <3 Thank you


End file.
